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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun 2 learn and other funny jokes |
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Monster Joke
What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to the other? I didn't know we lived on the same block.
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Money Joke
What happened when Dumbo went to a mindrreader? They gave him his money back.
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Bar Joke - 1
The Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away. 2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. 3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him. 6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead. 7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.
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Law and Lawyer Joke
Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titantic.
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Police Joke
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -- it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene. Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes sir, with my life. Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station, a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties? A: Yes sir, we do. Q: And do you have a locker in that room? A: Yes sir, I do. Q: And do you have a lock on your locker? A: Yes sir. Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow of ficers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers? A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.
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School Joke for Kids
There was a hooker with a bunch of other hookers. The police came, and said for all of the girls to line up. The the hooker's gramma came and said 'Why are all of you girls lined up?'The girl didn't want her gramma to know what she did for a living so the girl said 'We're lined up to buy oranges'The police talked to every girl individually, and when they got to gramma the police said 'How do you do it, you're so old?!?'Gramma says - 'It's easy, just peel it down and suck it dry!'
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Idiot and fool Joke
Hoot: How the hell can ya be so stupid? Jessie: Well, it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.
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Father Joke
Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what's so great about that?
It's snowing outside!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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