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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fritzel jokes and other funny jokes |
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Cow Joke
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure !
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Mom and Dad Joke
For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children. She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren. 'Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me. . . what do you think of my grandchildren?'
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Romance Joke
This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: 'What was that for?' Wife: 'What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?' Man: 'Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on. ' The wife looked all satisfied and goes off to work around the house. Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting. Man: 'What the hell was that for this time?' Wife: 'Your horse called. '
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Love and Marriage Joke
My other wife is beautiful. My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'RourkeNo man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de BalzacNothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al BundyI had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Why don't Blondes make good cattle herders. Because they can never keep two calves together.
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Mad Joke
181. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager. 182. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree. 183. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave at her. 184. Q: What do you call a smart blond? A: A golden retriever. 185. Q: How do you check a blonde's IQ? A: With a tire gauge. 186. Q: How does a blonde interpret6. 9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period. 187. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A: 'Oh look! Doughnut seeds!'188. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold? A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out. 189. Q: Why do blonds have two more brain cells than a cow ? A1: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits. A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo. 190. Q: Why aren't BLONDES good cattle herders? A: Because the can't even keep two calves together!191. Q: Why don't blonds breast feed? A: Because they always burn their nipples. 192. Q: How did the blonde burn her nose? A: Bobbing for french fries. 193. Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails? A: To cover up the valve stem. 194. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A: Spot. 195. Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group? A: Air Supply. 196. Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes? A: The back of her head. 197. Q: Why do blondes drive VW's A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!198. Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ? A: Tell them a joke on Friday night !199. Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge. 200. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids? A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon. A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.
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Naughty Joke
A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room while on a business trip. Not wishing to be alone, he calls an 'escort' service for some company. Soon, a strikingly beautiful hooker arrives. Without preamble the hookersays, 'I want to tell you right up front, my minimum fee is $'500
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Cannibal Joke
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village ? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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