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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of friday night comedy podcast and other funny jokes |
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Blonde Joke - 3
Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? She heard that the drinks were on the house.
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Old Age Joke
Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, 'Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps. ' The second old man says, 'You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps. ' Finally the third old man speaks up, 'Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up. '
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Military Joke
The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men. It wasn't until four weeks later someone finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.
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Hair and bald Joke
What do you get if you cross a wireless with a hairdresser ? Radio waves !
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Miscellaneous Joke
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You add chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing with everything you say. 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that reads, 'How's my driving--call 1-800-***-****. ' 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. 7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male. 8. You're counting down the days until menopause. 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday. 11. Three little letters (M, E, and N) send you into an uncontrollable rage.
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Dog Joke - 1
How can you make a basset hound fast? Take away its food!
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Divers get more tail.
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama's so stupid that she burned down the house with a CD burner.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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