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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of freaky humor and other funny jokes |
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Horse Joke
A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says, ' Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning. ' The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, 'WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING. The horse, half asleep says, 'I have to get up at three in the morning. '
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Village Idiot Joke
What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders?Whatever happened to preparations A through G?When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?Where are the germs that cause good breath?Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?Why are all blackboards called that when some of them are green?Why are hemorrhoids called 'hemorrhoids' instead of 'asteroids'?Why are they called 'stands' when theyre made for sitting?Why arent there ever any guilty bystanders?Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesnt the company just hire taller dancers?Why do people tell you when they are speechless?Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use it?Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?
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Judge Joke
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true. 'I'm as sober as you are, your honor, ' the man claimed. The judge replied, 'Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days. '
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Sport Joke
Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about half of the way there stops and jogs back. His boss asks what the problem is. 'Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress, ' complained Joe. Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to ask the ladies to speed up their game, he too stopped short and turned around. Joe asked 'what's wrong?' It's a small, small world Joe, and you're fired'
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I like you but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The turtle's one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape. The bartender looks at the guy and asks: 'What's wrong with your turtle?' 'Not a thing, ' the man responds, this beat up turtle is faster than your dog!' 'Not a chance!', replies the barkeep. 'Okay then, says the guy. . . you take your dog and let him stand at one end of the bar. Then go and stand at the other end of the room and call your dog. I'll bet you $500 that before your dog reaches you, my turtle will be there. ' So the bartender, thinking it's an easy $'500
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Weirdest Joke
How are men like diplomas?You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.
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Dirty Joke
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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