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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of flea jokes and other funny jokes |
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Police Joke
The phone rings at FBI headquarters. 'Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!''Thank you very much for the call, sir. 'The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?''Yep. ''Did they chop your firewood?''Yep. ''Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed. '
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Easy to Remember Joke
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says, 'Pierre, kiss me!' Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips. 'What are you doing, Pierre?' says the startled Marie. 'I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!' She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, 'Pierre, kiss me lower. ' Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts. 'Pierre! What are you doing?' asks the bewildered Marie. 'I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!' They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, 'Pierre, kiss me lower!' Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep in the river, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, 'Pierre, what in the hell do you think you're doing??!' Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, 'I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!'
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Heaven and hell Joke
Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can't get to heaven? Ted: No, but the more you smoke the quicker you'll get there.
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes? A: Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!
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Bumper Stickers - 5
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets
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History Joke
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra ? Toga-ether we can rule the world !
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Internet Joke
Have you seen www. shelterfromtherain. com? Yes, but it doesn't really stand out.
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American Joke
Two deaf men are signing to each other.
The first man asks, 'What did your wife say when you got home late last night?
The second man replies, 'She swore a blue streak'
And the first man asks, 'What did you do then?'
And the second man replies, 'I turned out the light. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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