|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of fisher price laugh and learn and other funny jokes |
|
Top 100 Joke
RECOUNT DEMANDED BY METSNEW YORK (AP) --The New York Mets announced today that they are going to court to get an additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the World Series. The batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press conference earlier today. They were joined by members of the Major League Players Union. 'We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers, ' said the Mets batting coach. 'We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we received and believe we have been denied our right to hit. 'One claim specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets batters had intended to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at curve balls. It was clear that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though a much higher percentage were not confused by the pitches. Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had in fact faced the Yankees in inter-league play earlier in the year. 'The fact remains that some of the pitches confused us and denied us of our right to hit, ' said the Mets batting coach. 'The World Series is not over yet and the Yankees are celebrating prematurely. 'Major League Baseball has reviewed the telecast of all the World Series games and recounted the balls and strikes called by the umpires of each game. 'While some of the strikes called against the Mets were, in fact, balls, there were not enough of them to change the outcome of the World Series, ' the commissioner said. Another portion of the Mets legal claim stated that, based on on-base percentage, the Mets had actually won the World Series, regardless of the final scores of the games. 'It's clear that we were on-base slightly more often than the Yankees, ' said a Mets spokesman. 'The World Series crown is rightly ours. 'The manager of the Mets has remained in relative seclusion, engaging in some light jogging for exercise. He has stated that he believes 'we need to let the process run its course without a rush to judgment. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Space Joke
Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet? The one with the biggest head.
= = = = = = = = = =
Funny Famous Joke
A man walked up to a farmer's house, and knocked on the door. When the farmer's wife opened the door, the man asked if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door. Again, the man knocked, and again, he asked the same question. Again, she slammed the door and screamed, 'Get the hell away!'Later, she told her husband of the incident. He said he would stay home the following day just in case. Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while his wife answered the door. When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex she said, 'Yes!'The man replied, 'Great! Give some to your husband the next time you see him, and tell him to keep away from my wife!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Ethnic Joke - 2
What is the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? 'Hey y'all. . . Watch this!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Ethnic Joke - 2
The South Takes a Cue from Oakland Everyone is familiar with the plan to teach Ebonics in such leftist enclaves as California andMassachusetts. 'Ebonics, ' a neologism created by combining 'Ebony' and 'phonics, ' is supposed to be the language of the untermenschen, the urban underclass. Here in the South, we have a similar movement, called 'Bubbonics!' Created from mixing 'Bubba'and 'phonics, ' we too have an entirely separate language from English. Like Ebonics, Bubbonics has a slightly different alphabet and different pronunciations from standard English. For example, the English language includes the letter 'L' although Bubbonics does not. Likewise, vowel pronunciation in Bubbonics is different from English pronunciation. Take, for example, the following sentences in English, and their translation into Bubbonics:Can I help you?Kin ah hip ewe?Hi, I'm Don Fowler. Hah, ahm Dahn Fah-wah. The discerning English speaker quickly notices that Bubbonics has fewer vowel sounds than English, and the primary vowel sound is 'ah. ' The letters A and E are generally replaced with the sound of a short i. For the advanced scholar, there are actually many interesting comparisons between Ebonics andBubbonics. Indeed, there have even been suggestions that Ebonics is actually a degraded form of Bubbonics, which is itself a degraded form of English. Consider the following statement inBubbonics and their counterparts in Ebonics:Ah axed ewe a quest-shun. I axed you a question, sukka. Ah be smaht. I be smarts now. Hooked ahn Bahbahnics wukks fuh me. Hooked on 'bonics be wukking fo me. If you're a native English speaker, and you can read the writing on the wall, then you know that your native tongue is soon to be as dead as Latin, spoken only in weird rituals or taught to kids in prep school. And if you're a native English speaker and you CAN'T read the writing on the wall, it's probably already in Bubbonics or Ebonics, and you're just that far behind. Gracefully surrender the things of your youth. Clean air. Tuna. Taiwan. The English language. And remember: Bilingual Education means teaching kids to be illiterate in two languages.
= = = = = = = = = =
Burger Joke
What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster? Cook-a-doodle-do!
= = = = = = = = = =
Situation Joke
'Miss Jones, we can't employ you as a model, ' the editor from themen's magazine explained. 'It's too obvious that your blonde hairisn't natural, since the hair between your legs is black. ' The model picked up a paperweight and slammed it down on the editor'sfingers. 'What the hell did you do that for!' he exploded. She smiled sweetlyand said, 'Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? Andthey've only been banged once. '
= = = = = = = = = =
School Joke
Teacher : In the exam you will be allowed 30 minutes for each question. Pupil : How long for the answer sir !
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
