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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of festive jokes and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Holidays
There were once three guys with no dicks. They all went to the doctor's. The first guy says, 'Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me!''What's the problem?' asks the doctor. 'I have no dick!'So the doctor gives him a metal dick and tells him to come back in a week. The next guy comes in and says, 'Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me!' 'What's wrong?' the doctor asks. 'I have no dick!'The doctor gives him a wooden dick and tells him to come back in a week. The last guy comes in and has the same problem. The doctor gives him an electrical dick, and also tells him to come back in a week. A week later, the first guy with the metal dick goes to the doctor and says, 'Doctor, doctor, I hate you, I hate you!''Why?' asks the doctor. 'Well, everytime I have sex with my girlfriend, she starts to shiver!' He walks out. The next guy with the wooden dick comes in and says, 'Doctor! I hate you!''Why?' the doctor asks. 'Everytime I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters up there!' He walks out. The last guy with the electrical dick walks in and says, 'Doctor, doctor! I love you, I love you!''Why?''Everytime I have sex with my girlfriend, her boobs light up!'
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Business Joke
Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim!
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. January '12
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I married my wife for her looks. . . but not the ones she's been giving me lately!
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Humorous Joke
The Rocky Mountains are very big and far apart. It takes a long time for an echo to bounce back off one of these mountains. One night, a camper in the Rockies went to sleep early. But before climbing into his sleeping bag he yelled, 'Time to get up. ' And eight hours later the echo came back and woke him up!
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Dirty Joke
Hello? the blonde responded answering the phone. Hearing no response, she repeated, 'Hello?' 'I'll bet you want me to come over and take you into the bedroom, undress you, lick you from head to toe, and then make mad passionate love to you until dawn. ' the male voice whispered. 'Scheesch! You're good. ' she replied. 'You mean you can tell all that from two hello's?'
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Religious Joke
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
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Elephant Joke
What do elephants sing at christmas ? Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants. . .
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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