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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fat pig comedy theatre and other funny jokes |
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Doctor and nurse Joke
How many physiotherapists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it.
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Assorted Joke
There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go hometo Pittsburg. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass. Well endowed, gorgeous, amazing. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets. The first priest approached the window. 'Young lady, ' he began, 'I would like three pickets to titsburg. . . ' Whereupon he completely lost his composure and fled. The second priest approached. 'Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg, ' he began, 'and I would like the change in nipples and dimes. ' So of course he also fled. Then came the third. 'Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must say, ' he continued, 'if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger's going to shake his peter at you!'
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Gorilla Joke
What does a Gorilla learn first in school? The Apey-cees!
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Book title Joke
Strong Winds by Gail Force
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Movie and TV Joke
Q: How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 'Nobody said I needed doubles on that!'
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Mom and Dad Joke
Parent's Dictionary of MeaningsDUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him. GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblingsPUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours. STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva. TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. VERBAL: able to whine in wordsWHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house
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Aardvark Joke
What do you call an aardvark That's just lost a fight?
A vark!
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Dumb Blonde Joke
'I can't find a cause for your illness, ' the doctor said. 'Frankly, I think it's due to drinking. ''In that case, ' replied his blonde patient, 'I'll come back when you are sober. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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