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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of farmyard fun and other funny jokes |
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Naughty Joke
A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over. He walks up to the car and sees a nice-looking woman is driving and smells liquor on her breath. He says, 'I'm going to have to give you the breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol. ' She blows up the balloon and he walks over to the police car. After a couple of minutes comes back and says, 'It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones. ' She replies 'You mean it shows that, too?'
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Practical Joke
1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED- We are still pissing in the wind. 2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM- We just hired three kids fresh out of college. 3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION- We know who to blame. 4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH- It works OK, but looks very hi-tech. 5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED- We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered. 6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch. 7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING- We are so surprised that the stupid thing works. 8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED- The only person who understood the thing quit. 9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS- It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless. 10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT- Forget it! We have enough problems for now. 11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL- Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up. 12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING- We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done. 13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION- I can't wait to hear this bull!14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS- Come into my office, I'm lonely. 15. ALL NEW- Parts not interchangeable with the previous design. 16. RUGGED- Too damn heavy to lift!17. LIGHTWEIGHT- Lighter than RUGGED. 18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT- One finally worked. 19. ENERGY SAVING- Achieved when the power switch is off. 20. LOW MAINTENANCE- Impossible to fix if broken.
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Just for Laughs Joke
What is green, has four legs, and smells like Monica Lewinsky? Thepool table in the oval office!
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Bumper Stickers - 5
I'll not stop
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Spiked Humor
You didn't find out that nothing happened for a week because you were holed up in your cellar. You don't have to go to the grocery store for a year. You invited the local football team over to eat twice this week, and you still have food left! You have no savings left because you used it to prepare. You spent the first week of the new year digging up all your valubles. You went to the bank on Monday and deposited $2000 of one and five dollar bills. You went ahead and had your water shut off, so you could use your stored bottled water. You were depressed because nothing happened !!
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Law Enforcement Joke
The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. 'Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?' inquired the officer. 'Mister, ' exclaimed the telephone lineman, 'I was at the top of the pole!'
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Very Silly Joke
Have you ever seen an asshole wrapped in plastic?Just look at your drivers license!
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Parent Joke
Young Bobby was being fitted for glasses, and his father, standing beside him, said, 'Now, remember, son. Don't wear them when you're not looking at anything. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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