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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fancy world of fun and other funny jokes |
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Bird Joke
What do parrots eat ? Polyfilla !
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Stupid Men
What are three little words you'll never hear a man say?
'Can I help?'
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Silliest Joke
Dear Maevis, I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life since then. I have become quite a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along and when he is here, he takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life!The preacher came to call the other day. He said that at my age, I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him I do all the time. No matter where I am, in the den, in the bedroom, in the kitchen or in the garage, I ask myself, 'What am I here after?'Well, I guess growing old is not so bad since old folks are worth a fortune with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet, and gas in their stomachs!Your good ole friend, Ethel
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Computer Joke
A confused caller was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said that it ''could not find the printer. '' The user had even tried turning the computer screen to face the printerbut his computer still could not 'see' the printer.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
What's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?Well, the light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.
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King Kong Joke
What is as big as King Kong but doesn't weigh anything? King Kong's shadow.
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Children Joke
Did you hear about the 10 year old boy who asked his recentlydivorced mother her age? She told him that was not a questionto ask and that he shouldn't ask it again. He then asked her her weight. She, once again, told him that shewouldn't answer the question and that he shouldn't ask it again. The next question he asked was why she and Daddy got divorced. Once again, she told him that it was not a question he should askand to not ask that question again. He went away. A few minutes later, she found him digging in her purse. She askedwhat he was doing and as he turn toward his mother, he beamingly toldher he had found all the answers to his questions by looking at herdriver's license. He said, 'Mother, you're 34 years old, weigh 125 pounds and Daddydivorced you because you got an 'F' in sex. '
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
John & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, 'I'm very sorry officer, I didn't realize it was out, I'll get it fixed right away. ' Just then Jessica said, 'I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed. ' So the officer asked for John's license and after looking at it said, 'Sir your license has expired. ' And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn't realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning. Jessica said, 'I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired. ' Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, 'Jessica, will you shut up!' The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked. 'Does your husband always talk to you like that?' Jessica replied, 'only when he's drunk. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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