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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of emily the strange merchandise and other funny jokes |
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Money Joke
If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.
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Joke for Kids
Pat and Mike work at the Guinness Brewery, and one day there's an accident. Pat calls Mike's wife, Mary, and says: 'Sure, and I hate to be tellin ya this, but there's been an accident down at the Guinness. ''Saints Preserve us, ' says she, 'is Mike alright?'Pat responds, 'I'd like to tell ya that, but it'd be a lie!''Ya don't mean that me Mike's been hurt?' says Mary. 'Sure, an it's worse than that, ' says Pat, 'he's fallen inta the beer vat and drowned!''Oh, well' says Mary, 'At least it was quick, ya know he couldn't swim a lick!''Oh, I wish I could be tellin ya that, ' says Pat, 'but it's be a lie. He got out three times ta pee!'
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Situations Humor
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated sideby side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendlyand all, said: 'So, where y'all from?' The New York girl said, 'From a place where they know betterthan to use a preposition at the end of a sentence. ' The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and thenreplied: 'So, where y'all from, bitch?'
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Rabbit Joke
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
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Monster Joke
Mr Monster: Oi, hurry up with my supper. Mrs Monster: Oh, do be quiet I've only got three pairs of hands.
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Funny Famous Joke
There once was a man named Dave, who found a dead whore in a cave. She was ugly as shitand missing one tit, but think of the money he saved!
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Burger Joke
How does a burger acquire good taste? With a little seasoning!
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Bird Joke
Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ? Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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