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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of emily the strange clothing and other funny jokes |
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Snowman Joke
What happened when the icicle landed on the sowmman's head? It knocked him cold.
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Redneck Joke
Your mother does not remove the marlboro from her lips before telling the state patrolman to kiss her ass.
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Very Silly Joke
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. 'I'm lost, ' said the man. 'Can you put me up for the night?' 'Certainly, ' the Chinese man said, 'but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man. ' 'Ok, ' said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy. He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, 'Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest. ' 'Well, that's pretty crappy, ' he thought. 'If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about. ' He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: 'Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle. ' In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, 'Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost. '
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Fun Funny Joke
How can you identify an blind pirate?He's the one with patches over both eyes.
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Gorilla Joke
Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent? The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!
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Dentist Joke
What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD? Having your dentist tell you.
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Marriage Joke
An English professor wrote the words, 'woman without her man is a savage' on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: 'Woman, without her man, is a savage. ' The women wrote: 'Woman: Without her, man is a savage. '
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Doctor Joke
There was a pretty Nurse named Carol who broke her engagement to a doctor. She was explaining everything to a friend.
'Do you mean to say,' exclaimed Cindy, 'that the bum asked you to give back the ring AND all his presents ?'
'Not only that,' said Carol, 'he sent me a bill for 37 visits. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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