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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of dr strange dvd and other funny jokes |
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Horse Joke
As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!
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Humor Joke
I'm not rich like Jack, don't have a mansion like Russell or have a Porsche like Martin but I do love you and want to marry you. I love you too, but what was that you said about Martin !
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Bus Joke
A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside. There's no room, ' they said. 'It's full up!' 'But you must let me on!' shouted the man. 'Why, what's so special about you?' they asked. I'm the driver, ' replied the man.
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Relationships Joke
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. 'Hurry!' she said, 'Stand in the corner. ' She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you to. ' she whispered. 'Just pretend you're a statue. ' 'What's this, honey?' the husband asked as he entered the room. 'Oh, it's just a statue. ' she replied nonchalantly. 'The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked the idea so much, I got one for us too. ' No more was said about the 'statue. ' Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went into the kitchen, and returned with a sandwich and a glass of milk. 'Here. ' he said to the 'statue. ' 'Eat this. I stood like an idiot at the Smith's for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water. '
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Joke for Kids
Pinnochio was receiving complaints from his girlfriend about consummating their passions. 'Every time we make love, ' she said, 'I get splinters!'So he went back to his maker, Gipetto, the carpenter, to ask for advice. 'Sandpaper my boy, that's what you need, ' was the carpenter's response. A couple of weeks later the carpenter saw Pinnochio again, 'How are you getting on with the girls now?''Who needs girls?' replied Pinnochio!
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Cow Joke
If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half!
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Criminal Joke
What makes you think the prisoner was drunk? asked the judge. 'Well, Your Honor, ' replied the arresting officer, 'I saw him lift up a manhole cover and walk away with it, and when I asked him what it was for he said, 'I want to listen to it on my record-player!' '
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Why did the blonde go half way to Sweden and then turn around and come home?It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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