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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of divine comedy promenade and other funny jokes |
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Marriage Joke
After the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, 'You know what I really feel like honey ?' 'Well sure, ' she blushed, 'But we gotta eat sometime !'
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Ethnic Joke - 2
What language do they speak in Cuba ? Cubic !
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Redneck Joke
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America. 9. Get a blow job. 8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat. 7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal. 6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently. 5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm. 4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem. 3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks. 2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement. 1. Repeat number 9. . . . . .
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Bar Joke - 2
Mirrors are female because none of their reflections are really their own. Stamps are female because men like to lick them, stick them, and then send them away. Windows are male because they're a pane, and because you can see through them. Shit is male because the older it gets, the easier it is to pick up.
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Humor Joke
My brother's looking for a girlfriend. Trouble is, he can't find a girl who loves him as much as he loves himself.
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Old People Joke
A bloke walks into a bar with an alligator.
He walks up to the bar and says 'I would like a beer thanks. '
The Bar man says 'Sorry mate you can't have that alligator in here. '
The man says 'No it's tame I can prove it to you. '
So the man throws an ashtray at it's head, and the alligator just shrugs it off.
The bar man says 'No I'm still not convinced. '
So the guy puts his dick in the alligators mouth and throws an ashtray at his head and the alligator still does nothing.
The bar man looks real impressed so the man says 'Would anyone else like a go ?'
An old lady in the back corner says 'Yeah I would, but could you please not throw an ashtray at my head. '
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School Joke
Teacher : Why are you the only child in the classroom today ? Pupil : Because I was the only one who didn't have school dinners yesterday !
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Easy to Remember Joke
I just bought some Gravol for my kids. It's even called 'Gravol for Children'. It has dosage information for children 2 to under 6 years, and for children 6 to under 12 years. There is no dosage information for anybody older than 12 years old. But there is the following:Caution: Do not exceed the recommended dosage. May cause drowsiness. Avoid driving a motor vehicle or performing tasks requiring mental alertness. Avoid alcoholic beverages. Do not take if you have: glaucoma, chronic lung disease, difficulty in urination due to an enlargement of the prostate gland, or if you are pregnant or breast-feeding unless directed by a physician. [and some other cautions not quite so inappropriate]I had to take it back - my chain smoking, alcoholic, pregnant, car driving 6-year-old daughter couldn't take them!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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