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bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of divine comedy absent friends and other funny jokes |
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Police Joke
The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over. 20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job. 16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer. 15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. 14. Bad cop. No donut. 13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence. 11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?9. I pay your salary8. So uh, you on the take or what?7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning. 6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me. 4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist. 3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control. 2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum. 1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bart ! Bart who ? Bart-enders serve drinks !
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Clinton Joke
Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is telling a lie by looking at his face? A: If his lips are moving, then he's lying.
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Love and Marriage Joke
Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent his wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reason for his haste he shivered and replied: 'I'm afraid that if I should ever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try to repossess me. '
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Computer Joke
A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: 'Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS'. 'G. O. O. D' answered his wife.
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Animal World
Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping?Scared the hell out of the dog.
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Miscellaneous Joke
Four nuns are driving to market and get hit by a drunk driver and all four nuns die. They get in line to go through pearly gates and wait for St. Peter to admit them. St. Peter goes to the nuns and says 'I realize that you are sisters of the cloth, but I must ask you if you have anything to report to me that might be a sin. 'The sisters thought for a while and the first nun went to St. Peter. 'I once touched a man's penis with this finger'. St. Peter thought for a while and said. 'I'm sure it was in the line of duty; Place your finger in that holy water and swirl it around. ' She did as she was instructed and 'PING' she was in. The second nun went to St. Peter and said, 'I once touched a man's genitals with my entire right hand. ' Again St. Peter thought for a while and said, 'I'm sure it was within your duties; Swirl your hand in that holy water and go in. ' The second nun did as she was instructed and 'ping' she was in. All of a sudden the 4th nun jumped in front of the 3rd nun. St. Peter was really confused by this. 'How come you cut in front of Sister?'The 4th nun replied, 'I just wanted to know if I could gargle with that holy water before she soaked her ass in it!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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