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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of disney fun and games and other funny jokes |
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Animal Joke
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, 'Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?''Yeah, I do!' a biker says, standing up. 'What about it?''Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him. . . ''What are you talkin' about?!' the biker says, disbelievingly. 'How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?''Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!'
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Easter Joke
How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs? He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.
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Religion Joke
Three girls died and were brought to the gates ofheaven. Upon entering the gate, they were haltedby St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, 'Before entering youmust answer this simple question. ' 'Which is . . . ?', they replied in unison. 'Have you been a good girl?', he asked the first girl. 'Oh yes', she said. 'I was a virgin before I gotmarried and was still virgin even after I got married. ''Very good', said St. Peter. 'Angel, give this girl . . . the golden key. ''Have you been a good girl?', he asked the second girl. 'Oh, quite good', she said. 'I was a virgin before Igot married but was not after I got married. ' 'Very good', said St. Peter. 'Angel, give this girl . . . the silver key. ''Have you been a good girl?', he asked the third girl. 'Oh no, not at all, ' she said. 'I practically had sex withevery guy I met before and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime. ''Very good, ' said St. Peter. 'Angel, give this girl . . . my room key. '
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Bath Joke
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ? A little bear !
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Spelling Joke
Spell electricity with three letters. NRG (energy).
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Horse Joke
A horse walked into the Ice Cream shop. 'I'll get a chocolate ice cream cone' The horse said. The Ice Cream Man, John, gave the horse the cone. The horse, having a $10 bill in his wallet, gave the money to John. Since John thought the horse wouldn't know a thing about money, he gave the horse one dollar back. 'Thanks for coming,' John said to the horse. 'We don't get many horses around here!' The horse replied 'Well, it's no wonder for $9. 00 a cone!'
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Children Joke
A Sunday school teacher asked her first graders. 'Where is God?'The room was filled with children that raised their hands to respond. 'Okay, Mary, Where is God?''He is everywhere, ' 'Very good that?s right. 'But still there were two children that didn?t put their hands down, so the teacher continued. 'Okay, Michael, Where is God?''God is inside me. ''Very good that?s right. 'Now there was one boy sitting in the back of the class waiving his hand. He was the last child with his hand up, so the teacher called on him. 'Okay, Danny, Where is God?''He?s in our bathroom. 'Well the teacher just had to ask, 'How do you know he?s in the bathroom?'The answer came, 'Every morning my father knocks on the bathroom door and says, ?My God are you still in there?? '
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Joke for Speeches
The teacher asked her students if anyone knew the answer to 2+'2
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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