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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of dishwasher jokes and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 1
He who laughs last thinks slowest
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Joke for Dummies
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, 'Father, what causes arthritis?' 'It's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man, ' the priest replied. 'Imagine that', the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?' 'I don't have arthritis, Father, ' the drunk said, 'but I just read in the paper that the Pope does. '
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Spoof Joke
If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix 'bim' could be used to create new words that describe them: Bimbabble - noises coming from a group of blondes Bimbaffled - constant mental state of blondes Bimbait - short skirts, sheer blouses, string bikinis or other clothing worn by blondes in an attempt to attract the attention of males Bimbar - a bar where blondes hang out wearing bimbait Bimbag - a blonde's purse Bimbrushes - essential equipment in a bimbag Bimbastic surgeon - specialist in breast enhancements for blondes Bimbeeper - special instrument used as a homing device for lost blondes Bimbellow - sound emanating from a blonde after she finally got the most recent blonde joke she heard Bimbillion? - a blonde giving an estimate of anything Bimblaze - the result of a blonde trying to cook Bimblues - a blonde's state of mind after her latest boyfriend ditched her Bimboette - a young blonde Bimbonese - language spoken by blondes, largely unintelligible to anyone else Bimbonique behavior - airhead behavior, unique to blondes Bimboozle - to fool a blonde Bimbore - a blonde who uses 'like' more than 10 times in a sentence Bimbozo - another name for a blonde Bimboron - a blonde even less intelligent than most other blondes Bimbrownie - a well-tanned blonde Bimbrunette - a blonde who dyes her hair brunette, usually to appear smarter than she actually is Bimburden - blonde carrying too many bags at the mall
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Village Idiot Joke
A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, 'Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?' The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, 'Well, I can tell you one thing. . . there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight. '
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King Kong Joke
Where does King Kong sleep? Anywhere he wants to.
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Worlds Best Joke
Q: What did Jesus do when he got to the Holiday Inn?A: He threw some nails down on the counter and asked, 'Can you put me up for the night?'
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature? Nurse: No. Is it missing?
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Various animal Joke
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common ? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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