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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of dirty visual jokes and other funny jokes |
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Apple Joke
Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, 'Watch out for worms won't you !' The first one replied, 'why should I ? They can watch out for themselves.
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Waiter Joke
Waiter, there is a maggot in my soup ! Don't worry sir, he won't last long in there !
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Doctor and nurse Joke
A nurse had to take a patient back to her room after surgery. Woman was still feeling the effects of the anesthetic and was rather confused. After nurse had made her comfortable, she was confronted with four of woman friends who asked, 'How is she?' The nurse replied, 'Oh, she's quite dopey. ' One of the friends said, 'We know that, but how is she healthwise?'
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Redneck Joke
The primary color of your car is 'Bond-Q. '
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Travel and tourist Joke
Tourist: What's the speed limit in this hick town? Native: We don't have one. You strangers can't get out of here fast enough for us.
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Bird Joke
What birds spend all their time on their knees ? Birds of prey !
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Cartoon ! Cartoon who ? Cartoon up just fine, she purrs like a cat !
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Assorted Joke
A widow was feeling rather lonely and decided that the best thing forher would be to have a companion. So, off she went to the pet shop. She wasn't sure just what kind of pet she'd like, so she figured she'djust walk around until she found just the 'right one. ' She went pastthe adorable little puppies, past the playful kittens, past thepreening birds, past the sleeping hamsters, past the whirling gerbils, and past the colorful fish. Nothing really appealed to her and seemed to be just what she waslooking for. She decided to go around the store again. On the way over to the puppies, she walked by a barrel. At the bottomof the barrel was a rather nasty looking toad. When she looked in, heWINKED at her! Our poor widow just shook herself! She couldn'tbelieve it. She rather quickly went back to the other pets ondisplay. Once again, she checked out those sweet little puppies, the darlingkittens, the fluttering birds, the fuzzy hamsters, the sleek gerbils, and the darting fish. Nothing really, really did it for her. She wasstarting to get discouraged. So, she figured one last time around, just in case she missed something. Going by the barrel again, she took another peek. There was thatnasty toad, and this time, he puckered up & threw her a kiss!!This was almost too much for the poor widow and she just aboutran over to the other pets. She tried hard to find just the right one to take home with her, butnot one of those cute puppies or silky kittens or chirping birds orgolden hamsters or skinny gerbils or fancy fish seemed right for her. Totally discouraged by now, the widow decide to go home. On the way out of the shop, she had to walk past the barrel again. Asshe furtively peeked in, the toad just gave her the most beseechinglook, and he had a little tear on the corner of his eye. He evensniffed a bit. This was too much for our widow, she started headingfor the exit in a hurry. All of a sudden it struck her that this poor toad was probably just aslonely as she was. Not only that, but he was so ugly that no onewould probably buy him, especially not with all the other nice petsavailable. So up to the counter she marched, told the salesperson she'd take thetoad, but requested that he be put in a sturdy box. When she got toher car, she placed the box on the seat next to her and proceeded todrive home. As she was driving along, she heard some scratching coming from thebox. She tried to ignore it for a bit, but then thought that the toadmight need some air, so she opened the box a bit. (What could ithurt?)She would glance over at the toad from time to time, and he keptwinking at her and throwing her kisses. She finally thought, 'oh heck, what could it hurt?' and she leaned over and KISSED him!And POOF! He turned into a HANDSOME PRINCE!!!And do you know what our poor widow turned into?The first motel she came to!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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