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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of dirty momma jokes and other funny jokes |
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Best Joke
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. I am in shape. Round's a shape!Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster is a maniac. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you. Future historians will be able to study at the Gerald Ford Library; the Jimmy Carter Library; the Ronald Reagan Library and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
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Car and train Joke
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life . 'Hey Roadway driver whos the two biggest poofs in America?' comes from the CB. The Roadway driver replies . 'I don't know' . The other trucker says ' You and your brother '. Well the Roadway driver gets all annoyed but the other driver tells him 'Its just a joke - tell it to the next truck you see. ' Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour an finally sees another truck . he gets on the CB and says ' Hey other truck do you know who the two biggest poofs in the world are?' The other trucker says ' I don't know who?' The roadway driver replies ' Me and my brother'
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Silliest Joke
Mother Mary held her daughter, 20 minutes under water. Not to save herself from troubles, but just to see the funny bubbles!
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Movie and TV Joke
Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Food Joke
Would you like a duck egg for supper? Only if you quack it for me.
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Sport Joke
How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb? One to change the lightbulb, and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up.
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Funny Kids Joke
What's the biggest moth in the world?A mammoth!
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Naughty Joke
A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that hispoor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for hismigraines and STILL no improvement. 'Listen, ' says the Doctor, 'I have migraines, too and the advice I'mgoing to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I havea migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for awhile. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I canstand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then Iget out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head iskilling me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, theheadache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back andsee me in six weeks. 'Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. 'Doc! I tookyour advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!''Well, ' says the physician, 'I'm glad I could help. ''By the way, Doc, ' the patient adds, 'you have a REALLY nice house. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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