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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of dirty jokes and stories and other funny jokes |
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Steamroller Barbie . . . doll squashed flat
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Science Joke
scientists Decode the First Message From an AlienCivilization. . . Simply send 6 x 10 to the 50 atoms of Hydrogen to theStar System at the top of the list, cross off that starsystem, then put your Star System at the bottom of thelist and send it to 100 other Star Systems. Withinone-tenth of a Galactic Rotation you will receiveenough hydrogen to power your civilization untilentropy reaches its maximum! IT REALLY WORKS!
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Cannibal Joke
A cannibal's dillema: If God didn't want us to eat people, why did he make them out of meat?
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Parent Joke
Did you hear about the little boy who was named after his father ? They called him Dad !
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Computer Joke
How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb? 'You're still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!'
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Funny Famous Joke
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?A: Because it says right on it 'good for up to 20 pounds. '
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Cat Joke
What do you use to comb a cat?
A catacomb.
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Internet Joke
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Exactly five hundred. 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed. 7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs. 17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs. 21 to flame the spell checkers. 49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list. 20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames. 32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt. lite. bulb. 69 to demand that cross posting to alt. grammar, alt. spelling and alt. punctuation about changing light bul bs be stopped. 41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this mail list. 106 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty. 12 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs. 8 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs. 2 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list. 15 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add pointedly, 'Me Too. ' 6 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy. 9 to quote the 'Me Too's' and happily add, 'Me Three!' 3 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ. 1 to propose new alt. change. lite. bulb newsgroup. 24 to say this is just what alt. physic. cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here. 53 votes for alt. lite. bulb.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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