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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of dirty jokes and beer and other funny jokes |
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School Joke
This assignment was actually turned in by two English students:----------------------------------------------------------------Rebecca and Gary English 44ASMUCreative WritingProf Miller In-class Assignment for WednesdayToday we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the personsitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then writethe first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read thefirst paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. Thefirst person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back andforth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in orderto keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree aconclusion has been reached. ----------------------------------------------------------------At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. Thecamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and ifshe thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question. Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attacksquadron now in orbit over Skylon '4
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Funny Joke - 50 best Joke
A little boy walked down the aisle at a wedding. As he made his way to the front, he would take two steps, then stop, and turn to the crowd, alternating between the bride's side and the groom's side. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. And so it went-step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR-all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and he was near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed back his tears and said, 'I was being the ring bear. '
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Office Humor
This fellow had been suffering from excruciating headaches for some time, and finally went to a doctor. After a thorough exam, the physician called the fellow into his office and said, 'Well, I'm not exactly sure what is causing your headaches, but we've found a cure for them: you'll have to be castrated. 'The man, needless to say, was taken aback, and told his doctor that he believed he would try to bear the pain. But as time went on, the headaches only got worse, and finally, the poor fellow was driven back to the doctor. 'All right, I guess I'll have the operation, ' he said. When it was all over, the man was understandably depressed, and his physician told him, 'I recommend you begin life anew. Start over from this point. 'So the man decided to take the advice and went to a men's shop for a new set of clothes. The proprietor said, 'Starting with the suit, looks like you take about a 38-regular. ''That's right, ' exclaimed the man, 'How'd you know?''Well, when you've been in the business as long as I have, you get pretty good at sizing a man up, ' replied the salesman. 'Now, for a shirt, looks like about a 15 long. ''Right again, ' the man said. The proprietor suggested, 'And for undershorts, I'd say a size 36. ''There's your first mistake, ' the man said, 'I've worn 34's for years. ''No, you're a size 36 if I've ever seen one, ' said the owner. The man replied, 'I ought to know what size undershorts I wear, and I'll take 34. 'The owner replied, 'Well all right, if you insist, but they're going to pinch your balls and give you headaches!!'
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Silliest Joke
What do you call a gay Jewish person? A He-Blew!
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Dead and dying Joke
What are you doing? I'm trying to call Washington! Oh, haven't you heard? He's dead!
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Crispin ! Crispin who ? Crispin crunchy is how I like my apples !
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War Joke
Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable childhood as an orphan in the ghetto. When he turned 18 hejoined the Marines, but old habits die hard and one night thesergeant found him rummaging around the garbage and eatingout of the discarded cans and jars. 'On your free, Lizard Pecker, ' he bellowed. 'You'll eat in the message hall -- you're no better than the rest of us!'
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Dentist Joke
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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