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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of din mor jokes and other funny jokes |
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Cat Joke
Q: When is a bad time to cross a black cat? A: When you are a mouse!
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: Why couldn't the blond pass her drivers test? A: Every time the car stopped she jumped in the backseat.
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Marriage Joke
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. 'Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever, ' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out. ' He passed the clergyman the cash and walked away satisfied. The wedding day arrives, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the vicar looks the young man in the eye and says, 'Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?' Th e groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, 'Yes. ' The groom leaned toward the vicar and hissed, 'I thought we had a deal. ' The vicar put the $100 into his hand and whispered back, 'She made me a much better offer. '
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Gender Joke
'WOMEN SEEKING MEN' Classifieds40-ish means: 48Adventurer means: Has had more partners than you ever willAffectionate means: PossessiveArtist means: UnreliableAverage looking means: You figure this one outBeautiful means: Pathological liarCommitment-minded means: Pick out curtains, now!Communication important means: Just try to get a word in edgewiseContagious Smile means: Bring your penicillinEducated means: College dropoutEmotionally Secure means: MedicatedEmployed means: Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at homeEnjoys art and opera means: SnobEnjoys Nature means: Bring your own granolaExotic Beauty means: Would frighten a MartianFinancially Secure means: One paycheck from the streetFree spirit means: Substance abuserFriendship first means: Trying to live down reputation as slutFun means: AnnoyingGentle means: ComatoseGood Listener means: Hard to pull a word from herHumorous means: CausticIntuitive means: Your opinion doesn't countIn Transition means: Needs new sugar-daddy to pay the billsLight drinker means: LushLooks younger means: If viewed from far away in bad lightLoves Travel means: If you're payingLoves Animals means: Cat ladyNon-traditional means: Ex-husband lives in the basementOpen-minded means: DesperateOutgoing means: LoudPassionate means: LoudPoet means: Depressive SchizophrenicRedhead means: Shops on the Clairol aisleReliable means: FrumpyReubenesque means: You can figure this one outRomantic means: Looks better by candle lightSelf-employed means: JoblessSmart means: InsipidSpecial means: Rode the small schoolbus w/ tinted windowsSpiritual means: Involved with a cultStable means: BoringTall, thin means: AnorexicTan means: WrinkledWants Soulmate means: One step away from stalkingWidow Nagged means: first husband to deathWriter means: PompousYoung at heart means: How about the rest
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School Joke
The teacher came up with a good problem. 'Suppose, ' she asked the second-graders, 'there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?' 'None, ' answered little Norman. 'None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic. ' 'Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!'
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School Joke
Teacher: Give me three reasons why the world is round Pupil: Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !
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Computer Joke
Why do computer teachers never get sick? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
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Mom Joke
A Jewish mother sends her son a red sweater and a blue sweater for Channukkah. He is soon going to visit her but can't figure out which sweater to wear. Having become completely stressed, he finally chooses the blue sweater, puts in on, and heads for his mother's house. She opens the door and instead of making sure he arrived alright, simply asks him, 'What, you didn't like the red sweater?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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