|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of derek strange and other funny jokes |
|
Brother and sister Joke
My brother's just opened a shop. Really? How's he doing? Six months. He opened it with a crowbar.
= = = = = = = = = =
College Humor
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries. . But, now we know. If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race . . . you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework . . . you're a pansy. If you work too hard . . . there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough . . . you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay . . . this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay . . . you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her . . . that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you . . . it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks . . . it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet . . . it's male indifference. If you cry . . . you're a wimp. If you don't . . . you're insensitive. If you make a decision without consulting her . . . you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you . . . she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy . . . that's domination. If SHE asks you . . . it's a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear . . . you're a pervert. If you don't . . . you're gay. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape . . . you're sexist. If you don't . . . you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape . . . you're vain. If you don't . . . you're a slob. If you buy her flowers . . . you're after something. If you don't . . . you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements . . . you're full of yourself. If you don't . . . you're not ambitious. If she has a headache . . . she's tired. If you have a headache . . . you don't love her anymore. If you want it too often . . . you're oversexed. If you don't . . . there must be someone else. Bottom Line: Men die first because they want to.
= = = = = = = = = =
Biologist Joke
A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them with a sack over each bird and only the legs showing. He sat right on the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each set of bird legs and give the common name, habitat, genus, species, etc. The student looked at each set of bird legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying, and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it, the madder he got. Finally, he could stand it no longer. He went up to the professor's desk and said, 'What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?' With that the student threw his test on the professor's desk an d walked out the door. The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn't know every student's name, so as the student reached the door the professor called, 'Mister, what's your name?' The enraged student pulled up his pant legs and said, 'You guess, buddy! You guess!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Spoof Joke
Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. A: Bambi, the White House grounds, and the new TV season.
= = = = = = = = = =
Kids Puns
A new bellringer was needed for Notre Dame Cathedral to replace Quasimoto, the hunchback. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up to the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. 'You have no arms!' 'No matter, ' said the man, 'Observe!' He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop ran down the long series of steps to the bottom of the cathedral, then rushed out to the man's side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, 'Bishop, who was this man?' 'I don't know his name, ' the bishop sadly replied, 'but his face rings a bell. ' But wait. . . there's more!The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist (now there's a trivia word for you!), the bishop continued his interviews for the bellringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, 'Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor, armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty. ' The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet and began to create the most wonderful sounds to be heard. When he had finished, he turned to the bishop, groaned, clutched at his chest and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. 'What has happened?' the first asked breathlessly, 'Who is this man?' 'I don't know his name, ' sighed the distraught bishop, 'but he's a dead ringer for his brother!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Naughty Joke
Three guys are discussing women. 'I like to watch a woman's tits best, ' the first guy says. The second says 'I like to look at a woman's ass. 'He asks the third guy 'What about you?'. 'Me? I prefer to see the top of her head. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Ethnic Joke - 1
Four Mexicans were in an open truck that had run into the lake. The two in the front seat escaped unharmed, but the two in the back bed drowned - they couldn't get the tailgate open!
= = = = = = = = = =
Cow Joke
What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
