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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of def comedy jam tickets and other funny jokes |
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Telephone Joke
Why did Dr Frankenstein have his telephone cut off? Because he wanted to win the Nobel prize!
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Letter Joke
How many letters are there in the alphabet? Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
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Fishing Joke
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside !
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Drunks Joke
There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, 'ATTENTION ALL' and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says' Excuse me, you just farted before my wife. ' The drunks replies, ' I'm sorry I didn't know it was her turn. '
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Snake Joke
Why did the two boa constrictors get married ? Because they had a crush on each other !sna
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Internet Joke
Does your mum like shopping on the Internet? No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.
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Dumb Men Joke
What's a man idea of helping with the housework? Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
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Horse Joke
Lester Piggot is in the parade ring discussing race tactics with the horses trainer. The trainer tells Lester that this is the worst horse he has in training, it has had 23 races and finished last in all of them, if it doesn't win today the milkman will be using it for deliveries in the morning. Lester mounts up and takes the horse down to the start.
The race begins and Lester is 30 lengths last after half a furlong, he gives the horse an almighty backhander on the behind, nothing, he then gives him a series of sharp slaps down the shoulder, nothing, he then gives him two wallops right on the bollocks, the horse comes to a sudden stop, turns round to Lester and says 'for christ sake will you turn it in with that whip I have to be up at half four in the morning to deliver the milk'!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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