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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of david essex all the fun of the fair and other funny jokes |
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Computing Joke
The Net is SlowOh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it's so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn't show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping;Bandwidth is turned way down low, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. When we finally connect to a site, It's time to go back to the dorm;But if I could stay here all night, I could submit their Web form. The network is slowly dying, And, I fear, we're still denying, But as long as Sprint is the way to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.
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Bar Joke - 2
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The beech says to the birch: 'Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands in the sapling. The birch says 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies: 'It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in. '
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Bumper Stickers - 2
A clean car is a sign of a sick mind.
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Best Joke Online
A New York lawyer sent gifts to many of his clients. The gifts were sleeves of golf balls, suitably inscribed with the donor lawyer's name. One of the recipients sent an e-mail of thanks back to the lawyer saying, 'That's the first time I've ever had a lawyer buy the balls. '
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Irish Joke
Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to relieve himself. The first door he entered happened to be a large health club, and he asked the clerk if he might use the men's room. The clerk said certainly and told Casey the men's room was the third door down the corridor on the left. Now Casey, trying to appear sober, weaved his way down the hallway remembering some of the directions. When he reached the third door, he turned RIGHT , opened the door and immediately fell into the deep end of a pool. The clerk, realizing Casey's mistake, ran down the hall and burst through the door, prepared to save him, and heard Casey shout, 'Don't flush, I'm in here!'
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Just for Laughs Joke
A man went to the dentist to get his teeth checked. While he was sitting in the chair being examined, the dentist said to him, 'Have you done oral sex lately?'The man replied, 'Why yes, I did this morning actually. How could you tell? Did you find a pubic hair stuck in my tooth?'The dentist says, 'No, not quite. You've got some shit on the end of your nose!'
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Dumb Joke
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, 'I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners. ' The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, 'So, what's the catch?'
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Baby Joke
What are baby witches called? Halloweenies.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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