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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of dainese fun helmet and other funny jokes |
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Pig Joke
Where does a woodsman keep his pigs? In his hog cabin!
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Sporting Joke
One day Bob and Bubba went fishing. They were catching a lot of fish so they wanted to figure out how to remember this part if the lake. Bob said, 'I know. I can spit in the water!' But Bubba said, 'No! How will we know it's your spit?' They thought and thought and finally Bob said, 'I know. We can draw an 'X' right here on the side of the boat!' But Bubba said 'No, no, Bob. That won't work! How will we know that we get the same boat next time?'
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Math Joke
Theorem. A cat has nine tails.
Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails.
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Totally Strange Humor
It was so cold outside, I saw a politician that had his hands in hisOWN pockets.
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Stupid Men
Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares!!!
A man walks into a bar and finds a Genie in a lamp. The Genie will only grant him one wish. The man wishes to be a million times smarter than any man on earth. *POOF* the Genie turns him into a woman!
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Bumper Stickers - 2
As If
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School Joke
Are You About to Employ a Robot? This test was written by ME, Roger Carasso, for the UCB PsychologyDepartment. It is intended to be used by companies that arerecruiting on campus. With this test you can determine whether anapplicant you are interviewing is a Robot, a Vulcan/Math MAjor, or aLiberal Arts major. Tear off here, and administer test below to students ---------------------------------- Answer Questions by circling the appropriate subjective choice. 1. If stranded on a deserted island, I would want _____ 0) Shakespeare 1) Math books 2) Fluid oil2. If I could have any job, I would be a _____ 0) writer 1) professor 2) McDonald's employee3. On weekends, I go to _____ 0) The beach 1) The library 2) goto 104. My favorite hobby is _____ 0) Poetry 1) Open math problems 2) memorizing5. I have taken ______ English classes. 0) Many 1) Enough to communicate 2) fori=1to++x10goto106. What is the quickest way to solve 2X+4=2? 0) Ask a Vulcan 1) In my head 2) Brute force with Cray 2 Supercomputer7. What have you learned in school that you value the most? 0) Latin 1) How to operate my HP-28C 2) Complex Analysis8. In between classes, I like to _____ 0) Talk with my friends 1) Study proofs 2) Add numbers on my calculator9. When I have a report due, I type it on_____ 0) My manual typewriter 1) The school's word processor 2) My calculator and then upload it to a PC at 50 baud10. Since coming to the University, I have gained many _____ 0) Friends 1) Books 2) Calculator manuals11. The best use of a computer is _____ 0) A door stop 1) Graphing functions 2) Friends12. When I go to a restaurant, I usually get _____ 0) A hamburger 1) A twinkie 2) Thrown out13. What part of speech is 'interface'? 0) A noun 1) A noun and a verb 2) Not enough data14. What do you consider to be paradise? 0) Total happiness 1) Total knowledge 2) Two calculators15. What type of music do you like? 0) Popular music 1) Classical music 2) Static noise16. What is your favorite game? 0) Monopoly 1) Chess 2) Data entry races17. My favorite Movie show is _____ 0) Ruthless People 1) Star Trek II 2) Short Circuit18. If I had to know an equation on a test, I would _____ 0) Write it on my arm 1) Derive it during test 2) Memorize it with flash cards all day for weeks19. The person I marry must have_____ 0) Beauty 1) Intelligence 2) An RS232 serial port20. What I fear the most is _____ 0) Death 1) Emotions 2) Water--------------------------------Results: Simply add up the values of all your answers and look atthe following table. 00-14 Liberal Arts15-20 Vulcan/Math Major21-40 Robot!!!
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Blonde Joke - 2
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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