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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of daily funny jokes and other funny jokes |
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Funny College Joke
Arvil was coming out of the Texas University student building when he was stopped by two coeds. 'Would you like to become a Jehovah's Witness?' asked one of the girls. 'No, I really couldn't. I didn't see the accident. '
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Humor Joke
Q: How many circus performers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four: One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go! A: Four. One to change the bulb and three to sing, Ta da!
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Short Joke
Advantages of dating older women. . . An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you, 'What are you thinking?' An older woman doesn't care what you think. An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him. An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman will cost you 12 beers, but an older woman will sleep with you after a cup of herbal tea. An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Older women can run faster because they're always wearing sensible shoes. There's no need to be phobic about 'committing' to an older woman - the last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent man. Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an asshole if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can't help you when you need to start replacing your old fillings. An older woman will never accuse you of 'using her. ' She's using you!Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza Hut Take out. An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in case you get any ideas. . . Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they always know. Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often don't wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all possibility of a strip-tease. Older women know what Kegel exercises are. An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you for a meal. Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front of somebody that they might possibly boff later. Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a public park. An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to go on an amusement ride. An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.
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Book title Joke
I'm Absolutely Certain by R. U. Sure
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Kids Fairy Tale Joke
Why weren't the porridge bowls round?
Because porridge is a square meal!
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School Joke
Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class ? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips !
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Romance Joke
The handsome American strode into a department store in Paris, France, and headed straight for the lingerie counter. He intentlystudied the array of lacy underthings and the sales lady bustledover to him. 'Do you have something in mind?' she asked. 'I certainly do, ma'am, ' the American emphatically replied. 'That'swhy I want a nice gift. '
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Law Enforcement Joke
My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up
a domestic dispute. We spoke with the couple and the problem was quickly
resolved.
On leaving, I was admiring the craftsmanship of their turn-of-the-century
home and reached for what I thought was the front door.
Realizing my mistake, I was turning away in embarrassment when I heard my
partner say. . . . 'If you have any more problems, we'll be in your closet. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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