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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of create funny pics and other funny jokes |
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Mom Joke
Miss Jones had just given her second-grade students a science lesson. She had explained about magnets, and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time.
Miss Jones said, 'My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?'
A little boy in the front row proudly said, 'You're a mother!
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Parent Joke
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her 'no. ' The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, 'Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't be upset. It won't be long. ' He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, 'There, there, Ellen, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out. ' The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today. The mother patiently said, 'Ellen, we'll be through this ch eck out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap. ' The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. 'I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen. . . ' The mother broke in, 'My little girl's name is Tammy. . . I'm Ellen. '
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King Kong Joke
What is big, hairy and can fly faster than sound? King Koncord.
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Mother Joke
The boy's mother had bought him two new ties. He hurried into his bedroom, immediately put on one of them, and hurried back.
'Look, Mama! Isn't it gorgeous?'
His mother said, 'What's the matter? You don't like the other one?'
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Divorce Joke
Did you hear about the lawyer whose divorce ended up in a nasty custody fight about a dog? When the lawyer won, the dog bit him.
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Top 100 Joke
That was Zen, this is Tao.
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Police Joke
One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license. The
instructor, a poice officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began.
Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, 'Why are you late?'
The student replied, 'I was trying not to get another ticket. '
The officer let him in.
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Worst Joke
A long time ago, way back then. . . we used to spell Canada, Cnd. Why? you ask. Well it's really simple. . . It's because we forgot the eh?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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