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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of coventry fun run and other funny jokes |
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Book title Joke
I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi
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Best Joke Online
These two hunters went moose hunting every year without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. (emphasis on fool)They got themselves a very authentic cow moose costume and learned themating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure in the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. So, they set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, in their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before too long their call was answered by bull in the forest. They called again, the bull answered closer to them. They called again, The bull answered, and came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. As the bulls' pounding hoof beats got closer the guy in front said, 'OK, lets get out and get him'!After a moment, that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouts -'THE ZIPPER IS STUCK, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!'The front guy says, 'Well, I'm gonna start nibbling grass, but you better start to 'brace yourself!'
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Waiter Joke
Waiter! shouted the furious diner, 'How dare you serve me this! There's a damn TWIG in my soup!' 'My apologies, ' said the waiter. 'I'll inform the branch manager. '
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Blonde Joke - 1
A blonde walks into the hairdresser with headphones on. She asks the woman working there for a haircut. The blonde sits down in the chair. The woman takes the blonde's headphones off and cuts her hair. At the end, the woman asks how she likes her hair but, to her surprise the blonde is dead! The woman picks up the headphones and listens. She hears: Breathe in. . . breathe out. . . breathe in. . . breathe out. '
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Monster Joke
A monster walked into the council rent office with a $5 note stuck in one ear and a $10 note in the other. You see, he was $15 in arrears.
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Naughty Joke
A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. 'Your organ, ' she replied. 'It's a bit on the small side. ' Hurt, he replied: 'It's not used to playing in cathedrals. '
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Police Joke
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day, ' the cop said. The guy replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could. ' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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Old Age Joke
Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, 'Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich. ' The second lady chimed in with, 'Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down. ' The third one responded, ' Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem. Knock on wood, ' as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said, 'That must be the door, I'll get it!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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