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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of courtroom jokes and other funny jokes |
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bette-lou ! Bette-lou who ? Bette-lou a few pounds !
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo Mama is so fat, that when she dances, the band skips!
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Clinton Joke
Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? . . . Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I've ever had.
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Religious Joke
There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, 'If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!' Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had 'fallen. ' This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, 'You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen. ' The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, 'I don't know what you're l aughing about, your wife fell three times this week. '
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Situation Joke
'What happened?' asked the hospital visitor of the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. 'Well, I went down to Margate at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I triedto read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view. ''And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?' asked the visitor. 'Yes. ''What did it say?''Don't stand up in the car!'
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Cop Joke
Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, 'Son, do you have a last request?' To which the man replied, 'Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play The Macarena for me one last time?' 'Certainly, ' replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, 'Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?' 'Please, ' said the condemned man, 'kill me first. '
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Joke for Halloween
A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said, 'Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me. ' The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied, 'I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab, I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.
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Monster Joke
FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes. BERT MONSTER: That's nothing. My sister's tongue is so long, she can lick an envelope after she's posted it.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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