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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of cool joke undo and other funny jokes |
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Criminal Joke
What did the burglar say to the watchmaker as he tied him up? Sorry to take so much of your valuable time.
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Monster Joke
FIRST MONSTER: I'm going to a party tonight. SECOND MONSTER: Oh, are you? FIRST MONSTER: Yes, I must go to the graveyard and dig out a few old friends.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE STANDING ON HER HEAD?A BRUNETTE WITH BAD BREATH!Sent by C?M
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Brook ! Brook who ? Brook-lyn bridge !
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Humor Joke
New camper: I thought you said this camp has no mosquitoes. Old camper: That's right. These mosquitoes come from the camp down the road!
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Best Joke Online
There's this fellow with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, 'QUIT IT!' But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, 'OK for you, ' and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invectives that would make a veteran sailor blush. At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets VERY quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, 'Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on. ' The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, 'By the way, what did the chicken do?'
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Why does a blonde girl always have a bruise around her belly button???Cause blonde boys aren't that smart either.
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Joke Online
1. Maternity leave would last two years. . . . with full pay. 2. There would be a cure for stretch marks. 3. Natural childbirth would become obsolete. 4. Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem. 5. All methods of birth control would be 100% effective. 6. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained. 7. Men would be eager to talk about commitment. 8. They wouldn't think twins were so cute. 9. Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM. 10. Briefcases would be used as diaper bags. 11. Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes. 12. They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy. 13. Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree's. 14. Women would rule the world.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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