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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of conil strange part of the country and other funny jokes |
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Irish Joke
An Irish couple, whose married bliss was not without a few 'squalls' received a humble lecture from their priest regarding their disgraceful quarrels. 'Why, that dog and cat you have agree better than you. ' 'If yer reverence'll tie them together, ye'll soon change yer mind. '
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Pig Joke
Why did the spotted pigs run away? They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine.
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Animal World
There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guywith a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinschersays to the guy with a Chihuahua, 'Let's go over tothat restaurant and get something to eat. ' The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us. ' The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, 'Just follow my lead. ' They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the DobermanPinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walkin. A guy at the door says, 'Sorry, mac, no pets allowed. ' The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, 'You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog. ' The guy at the door says, 'A Doberman Pinscher?' He says, 'Yes, they're using them now, they're very good. ' The guy at the door says, 'Come on in. ' The guy with the Chihuahua figures, 'What the hell, ' so he putson a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. The guy at the door says, 'Sorry, pal, no pets allowed. ' The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'You don't understand. This ismy seeing-eye dog. ' The guy at the door says, 'A Chihuahua?' The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?'
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Christmas Joke - 1
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ? Santa Clues !
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Don’t Take Life Too Seriously; You Won’t Get Out Alive
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Funny Kids Joke
Why did the mouse eat a candle?For some light refreshment!
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Computers Joke
Just wanted to check out that you gnarly dudes are using the latest andgreatest software technology fer yer rad code to make it easy for thedudes who have to read it. The hip new way to write readable Ccode involves the use of a few simple defines. #define like {#define man ;}#define an ;#define SayBro /*#define CheckItOut */SayBro like, this is some rad program, so CheckItOutlike a = b an c = dmanSayBro , like who needs help from them compiler choads anyway?THIS is the way to write CLEAR code. I mean really! CheckItOutlike SayBro this is ShellSort straight out of the white book, but ina readable form. CheckItOut man#define YoDude for(#define OK )#define is =#define AND &&#define as#define Do#define long#define some#define make#define garbage#define FAROUTshell(v, n) SayBro sort v[0]. . . v[n-1] into increasing order CheckItOutint v[], n;like int gap, i, j, temp;YoDude gap is n/2 an as long as gap > 0 Do some garbage an make gap /=2 OK YoDude i is gap an as long as i < n Do some garbage an make i++ OK YoDude j is i - gap an as long as j >= 0 AND v[j] > v[j+gap] Do some garbage an make j -= gap OK like temp is v[j] an v[j] is v[j+gap] an v[j+gap] is temp manFAROUT manSayBro like, B there OB square! CheckItOut
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Miscellaneous Joke
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Coolwip' on the side. . . . . . . . . . you might be a RedneckIf your working T. V. sits on top of ur NON-working T. V. . . . . . . . . . . you might be a RedneckIf you think a 'courter horse' is that ride in front of Kmart. . . . . . . . . . you might be a RedneckIf the biggest city you've ever been too is Walmart. . . . . . . . . . you might be a Redneck
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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