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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of computer jokes for kids and other funny jokes |
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Science Joke
A woman orders a chicken sandwhich and starts to choke. People are running frantically, trying to figure outwhat to do. Two homosexuals sitting in the corner wisperto each other and run in front of the choking lady. Onestrips out of his overalls, bends over butt naked in frontof his friend. His friend proceeds to lick the other's ass. Upon seeing this, the lady vomits forcing the lodged foodfrom her throat. After making sure the lady is OK, the twohomosexuals return to their food. One turns to the other and says, 'Wow, that hind-lick manuever really works!'
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Foreigners Joke
An American was waiting on a London street corner. Anattractive English girl was passing by when a gust ofwind blew her dress above her waist. 'A bit airy, isn't it?' remarked the American. Hearing this, the Cockney girl replied indignantly, ''Ell yes! What did you expect - feathers?!'
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Blonde Joke - 1
A blonde and a brunette are sky-diving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord - nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde jumps out of the plane and yells 'Oh! So you wanna race, huh?'
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Kids Puns
My boyfriend said that for his physical, the doctor needed a urine specimen, a stool sample, and a semen specimen. I told him, 'Just give them your underwear. '
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Travel Joke
Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary's high school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way. As they were driving on to their destination, Bill put his arm around Hillary and said, 'Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you would be the wife of a service station owner today. ' She smirked and replied, 'No, if I had stayed with him, he would be President of the United States. '
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Bird Joke
What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg ? It eggs-plodes !
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Animal World
Q. How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A. Two. But I have no idea how they get in there.
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Dead and dying Joke
This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. 'Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I'd like to be buried at sea. ' So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, 'Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their Nets Brought in Patrick McRay in a Coffin, 3 Shovels and the Bodies of His Three Sons. . . Funeral arrangements haven't yet been made, however, it is believed all wished to be buried at sea. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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