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injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy writing courses and other funny jokes |
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off. Oh dear, That's a lot of calories !
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Food Joke
Several women were discussing what they should have for dinner. 'If you're watching your weight, ' came one suggestion, 'those diet frozen dinners are good. ' The man then added: 'But get two. They're small. '
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Joke for Kids
The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. They all died and went to heaven together. 'Oh, this is terrible, ' exclaims St. Peter, 'I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those coincidences that happen. Since we weren't expecting you, your quarters just aren't ready. . . We can't take you in and we can't send you back. 'Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, 'Lucifer, this is Pete. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They're ours, but we weren't expecting them, and we gotta fix the place up for 'em. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It'll only be a couple of days. What d'ya say?'Reluctantly, the Devil agreed. However, Two days later St. Peter got a call. 'Pete, this is Lucifer. Hey you gotta come get these three clowns. This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody, the Graham guy is saving everybody, and that Oral Roberts has raised enough money to buy air conditioning!'
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School Joke
Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1960:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1970:
A logger exchanges a set 'L' of lumber for a set 'M' of money. The cardinality of set 'M' is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set 'M. ' The set 'C', the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set 'M' Represent the set 'C' as a subset of set 'M' and answer the following question:
What is the cardinality of the set 'P' of profits?
Teaching Math in 1980:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math in 1990:
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20.
What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question:
How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees?
There are no wrong answers.
Teaching Math in 2000:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is $120.
Show how Arthur Andersen determines that his profit margin is $60?
Teaching Math in 2020:
A logger sells a truckload of artificial lumber for $1000
His cost of recycling trash is $100
Show the effect a barren earth has on profit margin.
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Foreigners Joke
An Indian gentleman on his first visit to the USA visited the foreignexchange to exchange some Rupees. He handed to the cashier '100
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Bumper Stickers - 5
I'm not really a driver I just play one on TV.
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Clinton Joke
Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a car together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz. They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The Wizard is known for granting people their wishes. Quayle says, 'I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain. ' Gingrich responds, 'I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart. ' Clinton speaks up, 'Where's Dorothy?'
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Idiot and fool Joke
A man in a swimming pool was on the very top diving board. He poised, lifted his arms, and was about to dive when the attendant came running up, shouting, 'Don't dive ? there's no water in that pool!' 'That's all right, ' said the man. 'I can't swim!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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