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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy writers wanted and other funny jokes |
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Mad Joke
On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving. ' Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving. ' The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what to do about her. The captain said, 'I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this. ' He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, 'Why didn't anyone just say so?' Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York.
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Bicycle Joke
What is a ghost-proof bicycle? One with no spooks in it.
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Election Joke
The May Day parade in Moscow is the largest, most important military parade of the year. For 1992's parade, Yeltsin and Gorbachev invited Bill Clinton to come watch it with them. The parade commenced with a battalion of tanks, followed by a division of infantry, followed by armored personnel carriers and mobile artillery. They had mobile ballistic missile launchers, electronic jamming vehicles, and throughout the entire time the formations were overflown by squadrons of the most advanced interceptors, fighters, and long-range tactical and strategic bombers.
Clinton, who had never been this close to war in his life, was suitably impressed. Then he noticed that, way back at the end of the parade, there was a disorganized, messy bunch of men in rumpled suits tagging along behind the last artillery pieces. 'Who are they?' he asked.
'Ah,' said Yeltsin, 'those are our economists!'
'But I thought this parade was military. . . ' said Clinton, confused.
'Mr. Clinton,' said Gorbachev, 'have you SEEN the damage those men can do?'
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Bird Joke
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer ? A brick-layer !
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Politics Humor
If Kenneth Starr can extend his probe, what is wrong with Clinton doing the same?
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Animal World
A man takes his sick dog to the vet. The vet lifts the dog ontothe the operating table, looks down and says 'Say ahhhhhhhhhhh!'The man looks at the vet and says 'The dog can't speak'. The vet says to the man 'I was talking to YOU. The dog, s dead!!!Sent by Peter
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Dog Joke - 2
Who is the dogs favourite comedian ?
Growlcho Marx !
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Village Idiot Joke
Q: How do you recognize a blonde at the airport?A: She's the one throwing bread at the airplanes.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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