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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy weekends and other funny jokes |
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Law and Lawyer Joke
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick. 'Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all, ' the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. 'Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!' He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally, the lawyer said, 'Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty. ' With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and pronounced a verdict of guilty. 'But how?' the lawyer asked. 'You must have had some doubt. I saw all of you stare at the door. ' 'Oh, yes, ' the jury foreman replied. 'We all looked - but your client didn't!'
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Funny Famous Joke
Q: What's the difference between a girl and a toilet?A: A toilet doesn't want to cuddle after you drop a load into it.
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Judge Joke
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. 'So, ' he said, 'I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe. ' Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. 'You, attorney Leon, gave me $'15
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Dirty Joke
Q: What is a four-letter word that ends in 'k' and means the same as intercourse? A: Talk
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Snake Joke
What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch ? He died in agony !
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Pig Joke
Why are pigs such early risers? Did you ever try to shut off a rooster?
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Humor Joke
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum. 'I've just discovered a '3
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Simple Joke
This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench if from of a large pond. Across the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and say, 'I could really go for an ice cream cone. 'Hubby replies, 'Well, I'll go get you one. 'Wife says, 'But, you'll forget, you better write it down. 'Hubby replies, 'No I won't; what do you want?'Wife says, 'Get me a Strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. 'Hubby replies, 'Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember. Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns. The wife asks him, 'What took you so long, did you get lost. 'The hubby replies, 'No, and I got what you wanted. 'The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries?!Wife says, 'I knew you you should have written the order down. 'Hubby says, 'What do you mean - every thing is there?'To which the wife replies, 'No, it's not. . . look, you forgot the pickles!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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