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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy venues and other funny jokes |
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Joke of the Day
Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
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Lawyer Joke
A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain. 'I'm an attorney, ' the wincing man said, 'and this is going to cost you $5000. ''I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, ' the concerned golfer replied. 'But I did yell 'fore'. ''I'll take it, ' the attorney said.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
What's the definition of a Jewish nyphomaniac? One that screws when she's just had her hair done.
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Sport Joke
Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?A: A huddle. Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?A: The police. Q: Why can't Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the field anymore?A: It is a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.
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Monster Joke
How do you communicate with the Loch Ness Monster at '20
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Joke Online
You're so ugly, yo momma had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get the dog to play with you. Yo momma's so fat that the last time that she wore a T-shirt with a X on it a helicopter tried to land on her. Your dog is so dumb that if you were to cut off his tail and make him walk backwards he'd start wagging his head!
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Answer me this Joke
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?
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Gender Joke
WOMEN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them. If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there. Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse. Never let your man's mind wander - its too little to be left out alone. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway. Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny. Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books. A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, 'Oh all right, I'll stay the night'. Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his. If he asks you if you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing. When he asks you if he's your first tell him, 'You may be, you look familiar. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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