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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
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Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy unit glasgow and other funny jokes |
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Ethnic Joke - 2
What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?An Italian mother says, 'If you don't eat it, I'll kill you. 'A Jewish mother says, 'If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself. '
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo mama so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater. Yo mama so dirty she makes mud look clean. Yo mama so dirty that she was banned from a sewage facility because of sanitation worries! Yo mama so dirty that you can't tell where the dirt stops and she begins.
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School Joke
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4? Class: At once!
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Horse Joke
The cowboy rushed into to saloon yelling, 'All right, who's the wise guy that painted my horse yellow?' There was silence in the saloon. 'Fess up if you dare,' shouted the cowboy. With that, the biggest, meanest-looking hombre he had ever seen got up from one of the tables, rested his hands on his gun handles and coolly stated, 'I did, whaddaya want to tell me?'
The cowboy looked up and down at this terrifying figure, swallowed hard and replied, 'Just thought you'd like know, the first coat's dry!'
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Strange Humor
Q: What do CIA agents have to remember to go to the bathroom?A: The ZIP Code.
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Clinton Joke
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two--One to promise he'll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues.
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Weather Joke
Where do wind gusts go to on dates? -To Chicago
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Worlds Best Joke
Marriage has driven more than one man to sex. Marriage is a ceremony that turns your dreamboat into a barge. Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. Marriage is a rest period between romances. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Marriage is a trip between Niagra Falls and Reno. Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?Marriage is better when both the husband and wife decide that what they have is better than what they are missing. Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo. . . Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings. Marriage is mind over matter; if the husband doesn't mind, it doesn't matter. . Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence. Marriage is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before. Marriage is the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. Marriage still confers one very special privilege, only a married person can get divorced. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, so are thunder and lightning. A best man's speech should be like a mini-skirt; short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the bare essentials. A chiseler is a man who goes stag to a wife-swapping party. A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present. A good husband is one who thinks almost as much of his wife as he does of himself. A good woman is like a good bar. . . liquor in the front and poker in the rear. A honeymoon should be like a table. . . four bare legs and no drawers. A husband expects his wife to be perfect. . . and to understand why he's not.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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