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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy underwear and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Everything is possible just not too probable.
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ! Aitch ! Aitch who ? Bless You !
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Totally Strange Humor
A husband and wife decided they needed to use 'code' to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter. One day the husband told his five year old daughter, 'Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter'. The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, 'Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter. 'The child went back to tell her father what mommy said. A few days later the mom told the daughter, 'Tell daddy that he can type that letter now. 'The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, 'Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.
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Romance Joke
My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband and see if he were in fact 'cheating' on her. I asked my wife if she would ever do that. She said, 'Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in ya. '
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Law Joke
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.
He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer
from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any
cop from Texas . He decides to prove this to himself and have some
fun at the Texas deputy's expense.
The deputy says, 'License and registration, please. '
'What for?' says the lawyer.
The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop
sign. '
Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming. '
'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. License
and registration, please. '
The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
'The difference is you have to come to acomplete stop, that's the
law. License and registration, please!' the Deputy says.
Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow
down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you
give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the
ticket. '
'That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the deputy says.
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts
beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want me to
stop, or just slow down?'
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
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Bar Joke - 2
One night a lady pregnant with triplets was walking by and a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her in the stomach three times. Her docter told her that he couldn't perform surgery because it would be too risky. All was well for 16 years when one of the girls came running into the room crying. 'Whats wrong?' asked the mother. 'I was taking a pee and a bullet came out'. 'It's ok' said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago. A week later the other girl came running into the room crying, 'I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out?''Yes' replied the girl. 'It's ok' said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago. A week later the boy came running in crying, 'I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out. 'No' replied the boy, 'I was playing with myself and shot the dog!!!!!!!!'
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Book title Joke
The Worst Journey in the World by Helen Back
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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