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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy tree putney and other funny jokes |
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: What's a dumb Blondes favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
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Travel and tourist Joke
A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel's clerk about the time of meals. 'Breakfast is served from 7 to '11
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Computers Joke
Dear Tech Support:Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and noticed that thenew program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operatedflawlessly under Boyfriend 5. 0. In addition, Husband 1. 0 uninstalled manyother valuable programs, such as Romance 9. 9 but installed undesirableprograms such as NFL 5. 0 and NBA 3. 0. Conversation 8. 0 no longer runs andHouseCleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5. 3to fix these problems, but to no avail. --Desperate***************************************Dear Desperate, Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5. 0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1. 0is an operating system. Try to enter the command: 'C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVEDME' and install Tears 6. 2. Husband 1. 0 should then automatically run theapplications: Guilty 3. 0 and Flowers 7. 0. But remember, overuse can causeHusband 1. 0 to default to GrumpySilence 2. '5
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Money Joke
Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. 'You should give that money to charity, ' said the sales girl. Fred thought for a moment and said, 'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity. '
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King Kong Joke
What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog? A terrified postman.
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Time Joke
Do you know the time ? No, we haven't met yet !
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School Joke for Kids
The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemlpoyed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts. Effective January 1st, 2004 your penis will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:10'- 12' Luxury Tax. . . . . . . . . . $30. 00 8'- 10' Pole Tax. . . . . . . . . . . . . $25. 00 5'- 8' Privilege Tax. . . . . . . . . $15. 00 4'- 5' Nuisance Tax. . . . . . . . . . $ 3. 00Males exceeding 12' must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4' is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!Sincerely, Pecker Checker IRS*****NOTE***** We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:- Are there penalties for early withdrawals? - What if one's penis is self employed? - Do multiple partners count as a corporation? - Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes? - Is there an additional tax if you are not circumcised?
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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