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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy tours 2009 and other funny jokes |
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Funny Kids Joke
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?Hard cheese!
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Blonde Joke - 1
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. 'Oh, I really liked it, ' she said, 'but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents. ' 'What on earth do you mean???' 'Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was: Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Practice safe government. Use kingdoms.
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Funny Kids Joke
How can you save dumplings from drowning?
Put them in the gravy boat.
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Police Joke
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store. The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks. The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, 'meow', the cop says, 'oh, its only a cat' He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, 'woof, woof'. The cop says, 'its only a dog'. He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, 'potato'
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Redneck Joke
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck.
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Great Joke
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. 'My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf, ' says Little Red Riding Hood. The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away!Further down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again-this time he is crouched behind a tree stump. 'My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf, ' says Little Red Riding Hood. Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away!About two miles down the track, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign. 'My, what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf, ' taunts Little Red Riding Hood. With that, the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams, 'Will you get lost? I'm trying to take a shit!'
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Totally Weird Joke
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, 'I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered'. 'I think librarians are the easiest' said the second surgeon. 'When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered'. The third surgeon said, 'I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded'. The fourth one said, 'I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their ass are interchangeable. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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