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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy tickets and other funny jokes |
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Medical Joke
A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front of and facing a full length mirror. The young woman was even more shocked but if it would help solve her problem she thought she had better do what the doctor said. As soon as she was in position the doctor asked her to open her legs and when she did he put his head between them and rested his chin right on her private parts. After a few moments and some very positive 'yes, yes' type noises the doctor instructed her to get dressed again. Afterwards, the doctor sat her down and informed her that the main cause of her problem was just that she was drinking far too much liquid before going to bed. 'So what did the exercise in front of the mirror tell you?' 'Well, ' said the doctor, 'my wife is right, a beard would suit me. '
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Ghost Joke
This girl wanted to marry a ghost. I can't think what possessed her.
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Free Adult Joke
Capitalism, Socialism, and Communism have a meeting for tea at noon. Capitalism and Communism arrive on time, but Socialism is nowhere to be found. Finally he arrives, out of breath and apologetic. 'I'm sorry, ' says Socialism, 'I was standing in line for sausage. 'Capitalism says - 'What's a line?'And Communism says - 'What's a sausage?'
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Election Joke
Q: What do you call a talk by a pro-logging candidate?
A: A stump speech
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Buster ! Buster who ? Buster tire, can I use your phone !
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Grow Your Own Dope, Plant A Man
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Saw it, wanted it, threw a fit, Got It!!
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Bar Joke - 1
A man walks into a bar with a metal box under one arm and a duck under the other. The man walks up to the bar and asks the bar tender 'if you give me a free bottle of beer I'll show you my dancing duck'. The barman is surprised, but gives the guy a bud and asks the bloke to show him the duck dancing. So the guy puts the metal box on the bar, and stands the duck on top of it. A few seconds later the duck starts to jump around, as if he's doing an Irish jig.
Everyone in the bar is now watching this duck dancing, and the barman offers the guy $50 for the duck and the box. The bloke accepts, and the pub is filled day and night for 3 days with people watching the amazing dancing duck.
So 3 days after he sold the barman the duck, the guy walks back in to the pub and sees his duck dancing on the box on top of the bar.
The barman sees the guy and offers him a bottle of bud on the house. As he gives the guy the bud, the barman asks, 'Could you tell me how you stop the duck from dancing on top of the box?'
The man replies, 'Oh that's easy, you just take the hot coals out. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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