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bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy theatre tickets and other funny jokes |
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Election Joke
Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms.
At the bottom of the steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks, 'Nice pigs, Mr. President'
Clinton replies, 'I'll have to let you know that these are genuine Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary. . So, now what do you think?'
The honor guardsman answers: 'Nice trade, Sir. '
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Bumper Stickers - 7
Well, isn't that special!
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Political Joke
Erik Williams, '21
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Satire Joke
VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software company has acquired a major world religion. With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior vice-president of the combined company's new Religious Software Division, while MICROSOFT senior vice-presidents Michael Maples and Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said MICROSOFT Chairman Bill Gates. 'We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to ten years, ' said Gates. 'The combined resources of MICROSOFT and the Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for a broader range of people. 'Through the MICROSOFT Network, the company's new on-line service, 'we will make the sacraments available on-line for the first time' and revive the popular pre-Counter-Reformation practice of selling indulgences, said Gates. 'You can get Communion, confess your sins, receive absolution -- even reduce your time in Purgatory -- all without leaving your home. 'A new software application, MICROSOFT Church, will include a macro language which you can program to download heavenly graces automatically while you are away from your computer. An estimated '17
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Ouch Joke
A little girl was walking along a beach in California whenshe came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspapercovering his genitals. The little girl said, 'What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?'The man said, 'Nothing, it's just a bird, now go away!'The man thought nothing of her and quickly fell asleep. Hours later, the man woke up in a hospital bed in excrutiating pain. 'Where the hell am I?'A doctor replied, 'Someone called 9-1-1 and said you needed emergencyhelp, so we rushed you right over. ''Well, what the hell happened to me?''We don't know, son. Do you remember anything unusual happeningto you today?'The man said, 'Well, there was a little girl bugging me justbefore I fell asleep. ' The doctor sent someone to the beach to see if the little girl wasstill there, and she was. The person said, 'Do you know what happenedto that nice man you saw here earlier?''Well, ' the little girl said, 'I started to play with that nice littlebird that he had and the damn thing spit on me. So, I wrung its neck, broke its eggs, and set its nest on fire!'
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Mad Joke
A guy walks into a store to buy brains. He asks the woman behind the counter how much each of the brains cost. They saleswoman tells him, '$5/gram for women's brains, $20/gram for dog's brains, and $100/gram for men's brains. 'So the guy is surprised with the varying prices, and he asks the saleswoman, 'How come men's brain's are so much more expensive than women's brains or dog's brains?' And the saleswoman replies, 'Are you kidding!?!?!?!? Do you know how many men it takes to get a gram of brains????'
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Religion Joke
What is the meaning of life?All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.
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Stupid Blonde Joke
Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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