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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy store tickets and other funny jokes |
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Ghost Joke
What do you call a ghost that stays out all night? Afresh air freak.
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Burger Joke
Seriously, when the crooked hamburger took it on the 1am, where did it go? Heidelburg-er, Germany!
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Funny Kids Joke
Where do you take sick ponies?To the horsepital!What do you say if you see a flying pig?'I see bacon's going up'!Who tells chicken jokes?Comedihens!What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes?A swine gut!Why did the chicken cross the road at the fairground?To get to the other side!What did the lovesick bull say to the cow?'When I fall in love it will be for heifer'!Why were the hens lying on their backs with their legs in the air?Because eggs were going up!What do you call a sheep with no legs or head?A cloud!What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?An egg-splosion!
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Legal Humor
A hill country husband died and left everything to his wife. He put a provision in his will though that she couldn't touchany of it until she turned 14.
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Dumb Joke
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, 'Father, remember psalm 129?'The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again Said, 'Father, remember psalm 129?' Once again the priest apologized. 'Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak. 'Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance, and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory. 'MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity!
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Farmer Joke
A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car. A cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, rang the door bell. A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously said, 'I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him. ' 'Suit yourself, ' the farmer replied, 'you can go join the other chickens that are around the back. '
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Idiot and fool Joke
Fred: Did you hear about the Irish window cleaner who put a sign at the top of his ladder? Harry: What did the sign say? Fred: Stop.
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Weather Joke
You're hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day. You run across (separately) the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Baden Powell, and Sir Edmund Hillary, who all give you directions to the nearest tube stop. Whom don't you believe? Your story teller, for there is no such thing as a completely sunny day in England.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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