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bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy store new york and other funny jokes |
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Joke Online
What's the latest dope -- besides you? I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw, but all they got was a moving picture. You don't believe in being artificial. You want people to hate you for yourself. When people cut their fingers you cry over it just so that you can get salt in the wound. Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot. If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad. You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion now she believes in infanticide. I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief, and a cheat. You're acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would. You have a face only a mother could love -- and she hates it! You never strike out blindly you fail in the light. They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
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Mom Joke
Two kids went into their parents bathroom and noticed the weigh scale in the corner. 'Whatever you do,' cautioned one youngster to the other, 'Don't step on it!'
'Why not?' asked the sibling.
'Because every time mom does, she lets out an awful scream!'
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Accountant Joke
A man walking along a country road comes across a farmer droving a huge mob of sheep. He stops and chats for a while and then says, 'Tell you what, I'll bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in that flock. ' The farmer thinks for a moment, it is a big mob and he can't see how anyone could guess correctly so he says, 'OK. You're on. ' 'Nine hundred and thirty two, ' says the man. The farmer takes off his hat and scratches his head. 'I don't know how you did it but That's exactly right. A bet's a bet. Take any sheep. ' The man picks up an animal and is about to walk off when the farmer says, 'Hang on. Bet you double or nothing that I can guess your occupation. ' The man thinks, 'How would he know, he's never met me before' and says 'Righto. You're on'. The farmer says, 'You're an auditor with a Big Four firm. ' The man whistles . 'How the heck did you know that?' 'Well, ' says the farmer, 'put my dog down and I'll tell you. '
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Bumper Stickers - 7
You are right where you belong, behind me!
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Beauty Joke
A woman went to a sweet store to buy some sweets. The boy behind the counter said 'Gosh, your ugly aren't you?, I've never seen anyone so hideous as you before' 'Young man' she replied. ' I didn't come here to be insulted' 'Really', he said, 'Where do you usually go ?'
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Witch Joke
What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends ? A witch with a blindfold !
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Sporting Joke
I thought one of the linemen had a tattoo on his leg but it turned out to be a government meat inspection stamp.
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Father Joke
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. 'In English,' he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a doub
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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