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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy sportz and other funny jokes |
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Dumb People Joke
On his tour to the U. S. , the Pope visited a couple who had been childless for six years, try as they might to have a baby. The Pope promised to light a candle for them at the Vatican. A decade later, the Pope returned and dropped in on the couple again and found nine children romping around the house. Congratulating the wife on her fruitfulness, the Pope looked around and asked, 'But where is your husband?''Jim?' the haggard woman said. 'Oh, he went to Rome to blow out that candle!'
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Bible Joke
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? A: He sold his soul to Santa.
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Marriage Joke
This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears,
'You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. . . You know what?'
'What dear,' she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
'I think you're bad luck. . . '
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Love and Marriage Joke
Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. 'Listen to this, ' she said. 'There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. ' 'Hmmm, ' her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said, 'Would you swap me for a season ticket?' 'Absolutely not, ' he said. 'How sweet, ' Sarah said. 'Tell me why not. ' 'Season's more than half over, ' he said.
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from two or more.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
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Political Joke
1. Only in America. . . . . . can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America. . . . . . are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America. . . . . . do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America. . . . . . do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke. 5. Only in America. . . . . . do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America. . . . . . do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America. . . . . . do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America. . . . . . do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America. . . . . . do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in America. . . . . . do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! April ! April who ? April might make you feel better !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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