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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy speakers and other funny jokes |
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Dirty Joke
An old man in a nursing home awoke one day and trundled down the hallway to the community breakfast room looking rather forlorn. Ms. Smith, a nurse, met him in the hallway. She greeted him smilingly and asked how he was this day. Mr. Jones allowed that not all was well; in fact, his penis had died during the night. Ms. Smith knew that Mr. Jones was occasionally a little off mentally, so she merely replied that she was sorry to hear the bad news and went on her way. The next morning Mr. Jones was on his way to breakfast again but on this day he was dressed in a coat and tie, and his penis was hanging out of his pants. Sure enough, he met Ms. Smith whereupon -- although somewhat startled -- she calmly reminded him that the day before he had told her his penis had died and asked why it was hanging out of his pants. Mr. Jones replied simply, 'Today is the viewing. '
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Birthday Joke
When is your birthday? 17th January. What year? Every year!
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Religion Joke
The Hat An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the vestibule. When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to the entiresermon on 'The Ten Commandments. ' After church, the man met the preacher in the vestibule doorway, shook his had vigorously, and told him 'I want to thank you preacher for saving my soul today. I came to church to steal a hat and after hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided against it. ' Preacher: 'You mean the commandment 'I shall not steal' changed your mind?' Old Man: 'No, the one about adultery did. As soon as you said that I remember where I left my old hat!'
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Science Joke
What do you call an open can of tuna fish in a lesbian's apartment? Potpourri
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Car and train Joke
Why is it not safe to doze on trains? Because they run over sleepers.
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Dirty Joke
Whats the definition of love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
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Fun Funny Joke
How did Stevie Wonder pierce his ears? He answered the stapler (hello? *OUCH*)
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Bumper Stickers - 7
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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