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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy sound effects and other funny jokes |
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Stupid Blonde Joke
A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, 'Would you like me to be your friend?' The boy hesitated, then said, 'Okay', looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked 'Why are you standing here all alone? Why don't you go and join those boys playing football over there?' 'Because, ' the little boy said with great exasperation, 'I'm the bloody goalie. 'Sent by Gerald
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo mamas so stupid she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gum ball to come out.
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Dog Joke - 2
What dogs are best for sending telegrams ? Wire haired terriers !!
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Politics Humor
Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself at home. Then Fidel notices that he left his luggage in heaven and tells Satan, who says, 'No hay problema, I'll send a couple of little devils to get your stuff. 'When the little devils get to heaven they find the gates are locked - St. Peter is having lunch - and they start debating what to do. Finally, one comes up with the idea that they should go over the wall and get the luggage. As they are climbing the wall, two little angels see them, and one angel says to the other, 'My goodness! Fidel has been in hell no more thanten minutes and we're already getting refugees!'
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Naughty Joke
There's an elderly man and woman sitting in the sunroom of a retirement home. The old man says to the woman, 'For five dollars, I'll have sex with you on that rocking chair over there. For ten dollars, I'll have sex with you on that couch. But for twenty dollars, I'll take you to my room, light a few candles and give you a romantic evening of passion you'll never forget. 'The woman considers it a moment and then, after fishing through her purse, produces a twenty dollar bill. The man says, 'So, you want the romantic night in my room, eh?' The woman replies, 'No, I want four times in the rocker. '
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Funny Kids Joke
'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a spoon. '
'Sit over there please and don't stir. '
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Aviation Joke
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: 'I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog. ' 'But how do you know when you are going to land?' he was asked. 'I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground' he answered. 'But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?' he was again asked. He quickly answered: 'Oh, the dog's leash goes slack. '
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School Joke
Why was the headmaster worried? Because there were too many rulers in school!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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