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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy shorts and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 7
Yes, in fact. . . my father does own this road.
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Horse Joke
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. 'One spur?' asked the saddler. 'Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?' 'No, just one, ' replied the horseman. 'If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Becker ! Becker who ? Becker the devil you know !
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School Joke
What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria? The food!
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, 'Help me! Help me!'Mary Jane laughed and laughed! She knew that the shark was never going tohelp that man!
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Funniest Joke
A Sailor is sitting at a bar one night and is chatting it up with a beautiful blonde. After some drinks she starts to cry and tell him the sad story that she is Polish and misses home terribly but can't afford to buy a ticket to go home. The sailor tells her his profession and makes a deal with her. 'I'll hide you away on my ship on one condition. You have to have sex with me when I ask. 'She hugs him, crys and agrees. So late that night they sneak on to his ship and he hides her in a big life boat with a canvas cover. He tells her he'll bring her food and water and she'll just have to stay hidden because she'll be in big trouble if she's caught. So for the next three weeks he brings her rations every day and sleeps with her every night. Finally one day the captain is strolling on deck, sees something suspicious and lifts the cover discovering the girl. He yells 'STOWAWAY!'Scared she explains: 'Dont be mad at me sir. One of your sailors stowed me away to take me home to Poland, and is having sex with me for payment!''No kidding? Lady. . . this is the Staten Island Ferry!'
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Computers Joke
THE LIFE OF A COMPUTER ANALYST (Long but VERY Funny!) Monday ------ 8:05am User called to say they forgot password. Told them to use password retrieval utility called FDISK. Blissfully ignorant, they thank me and hang up. God, we let these people vote and drive, too? 8:12am Accounting called to say they couldn't access expense reports database. Gave them Standard Sys Admin Answer #'112
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Religious Joke
The Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, 'If you'll come to the Church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven. ' 'I don't think I'll be there, ' the boy said. 'You don't even know your way to the post office. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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