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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy school and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 1
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
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Math Joke
'Students nowadays are so dumb', the math professor complains to a colleague. 'Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero. . . '
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Relationships Joke
A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, 'Do you talk to your husband when you're making love ?' She thought about it a minute then said, 'Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now. '
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American Joke
A gum-chewing American and a Frenchman are sitting together in a
restaurant. The American feel really proud to be an American, so
he starts a conversation.
He asks the Frenchman, 'When you eat bread, do you eat all of
it?'
'Mais oui!, of course!' responds the Frenchman.
'Well,' says the American, 'we only eat the soft part of it. The
rest we collect in containers, take to a factory and put through
a mill. What comes out are little breads that we sell in France.
'And what about steaks?' he continues. 'Do you eat all parts of
them?'
'Bien sur! We do,' replies the Frenchman.
'You don`t say!' says the America, grinning. 'We don`t! We only
eat the meaty part of the steak. The greasy part we collect in
containers, take to a factory, put through a mill, and what
comes out are little steaks that we sell in France. '
Now the Frenchman is really riled. So he asks, 'And what do
Americans do with their used condoms?'
'Hey, we throw them away of course,' says the American.
'Ha!' exclaims the Frenchman. 'We collect them in containers,
take them to a factory and put them through a mill. What comes
out is chewing gum that we sell in America!'
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War Joke
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advisednew recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than asking him about this, the Captain stood at the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, 'If you are killed in a battle and have a GI Insurance, thegovernment has to pay $'200
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Stand Up Joke
Six months into a marriage, a man was asked by his best friend how everything was going. He replied, 'Oh, just fine. We practically never have any arguments. In the morning, she does what she wants. In the afternoon, I do what she wants. And at night, we both do what we both want. '
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Children Joke
Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?Little Johnny: I get up early.
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee Buzz off can't you see I'm busy?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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